Love is a Choice.......

Love is a choice you make every day of your life. In fact, what you think you feel is actually something you choose to feel. You make a choice to feel a certain way or not. That’s how you choose to control your emotions. This is true in most areas of life. In choosing to feel love, you need to choose sensibly because falling in love is not something you choose not to feel after a relationship went downhill. Love is a choice, an ongoing and a conscious choice, you make each and every day of your life.

Love is a choice. And you can never confuse “love” with the feeling of being “in love.” This is one of the most important lesson you can ever get in the midst of being and staying in love. I’m sure you, just like me, those who have experienced to be loved and lost a love, can all attest to that. Here’s an excerpt from the novel “Midwinter Turns to Spring,” on the subject of love being a choice:

“Love is not just a feeling. It’s a choice, a commitment, a way of behaving toward another. Love is not simply an event that happens to you. Rather, love is something you choose to do. The state of being in love is simply a prelude to love. But most people make the mistake of thinking they’re one and the same thing. We are all given circumstances by which we can exercise the choice to love. That’s the thunderbolt that God supplies. It’s that instant attraction to another person, those warm, fuzzy feelings, that fever akin to drunkenness or madness that causes you to know that you’re in love. But it’s what you choose to do after that thunderbolt has passed that matters. You choose whether you’re going to continue loving the other person after the drunkenness has dissipated, after the frills of romance have fallen away. You choose whether you’re going to continue to seek the best interests of the other person, and care about him or her through any and all circumstances — and for how long. Love is a conscious choice.”

Love is a choice. When you wake up in the morning and think about the one you love, you say to yourself “I choose to love this person today and every day of my life,” regardless of his imperfections. 

Many people believe that love is something that simply occurs and happens unexpectedly. But as the relationship grows, the definition of love also grows. Love is both a noun and a verb. The noun part is the feeling you have when you think about the person first thing in the morning, ’till the end of the day. The verb part is the actions you take for feeling that way. Your love for someone should be action oriented and consistent, in order for love to stay after many years together.

Many people allows romantic love, or feelings, to become the basis for relationship and happiness. But this kind of foundation is more likely to be unsturdy because you or your partner will later on seek new emotional highs as time goes by. A relationship based on just feelings and emotions are fickle, more so the circumstances that give rise to them. Love is a choice, it isn’t born but made.

There will always be times you feel you love your partner less today than yesterday. There will be times you could feel loved, and other times you don’t. You may also meet someone you think more ideal than the other. When these happen, would you still love him? Love is a choice. Isn’t it more empowering way to love and be loved?

Love is a choice. It’s either you let that love happen or move on without even letting a feeling of love to occur. When making a choice, sometimes you feel you just have to grab it because after all you deserve it. Other times you feel you need to put another’s needs before your own. Love is a choice… a choice to take action.